~deep thinkin at 3 in the morning~

he messaged me again
at 3am..

with all those weird stuff again...

he said some stupid stuff i know he didn't mean to
he says he wants me to hate him
he says it would be easier for me to let him go
but he was wrong

i didn't need to hate him
i have already let him go and moved on
and

i know it hurts him more than it hurts me
why do people hurt themself and the people they love?
pointless

it just makes me sad

not cause i miss him

it's because my absence has caused drastic changes in his life

and all the misery, low self esteem, lost of confidence and shit in his life

i never thought my presence had so much impact on him

it's not that i feel sorry or regret my decisions

but it just makes me sad to see him this way
and it is just not the right timing for me to be one supporting him
if there was something i could do for him

to make his pain go away
i would
but the best way to make it happen
is for me to leave