Thursday, May 22, 2008

education fuss

sigh.. got my results today
i don't even know whether
to be happy or not
it isn't exactly bad and
it's actually more than what i expected
it is actually more than what i deserved
considering the fact that i did not
put ANY effort into it
i skipped classes and became truant queen
didn't do much assignments
didn't sit for assessment quizes
which carry weight in overall marks
didn't care about catching up nor studying for what i missed
didn't care much bout study week
which were very critical turning points
instead i wasted the whole semester
by sleeping having fun and wasting it away
it is a waste actually
i can actually make it through the exam
even with minimum effort
but i chose to fuck it up
i mean
i have no regrets

it is already more than what i have expected
but i just feel that i did not do my best
not even lift my ass
to put a LITTLE effort in it
which would actually be sufficient
can't help but thinking 'if only'
if only i sacrificed a couple hours of sleep
if only i talked less on the phone
if only i wasted a couple of hours less talking
if only i attended a couple of tutorials extra
if only i did not waste my semester away
if only....
if only...
if only...


what is done is done
regrets would not change anything
wishes will not be granted
nothing much would happen actually
i can only hope for a simple tomorrow
without all the fuss of being granted a scholarship or not
it doesn't matter much to me now actually
i just want things to be simple
it doesn't matter much to me now
because at the end of the day
all a girl wants is to be loved by the right man
and i already have that... ...
i've changed i know
i used to be very ambitious
but hey
love changes people
and i've changed

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