mothers' day again

mothers' day again
since i was a little girl
i've found this day so commercial-ize
so much
that it is so fake
maybe this cold part of me
just hates expressing all the mushy stuff
and being nice to her
and apologizing
without meaning it at all
and 'thank-you' s
without any point
and all the flowers and gifts
without any sincerity behind it
and all the regrets and empty promises
without any feelings and forgetting it the next day
i've always been a pain in the neck for her
how can i just say i love her and sorry
all the sweet nothings
and all those stuff?
maybe one day i'll grow up
and finally see
how much she has done for me
and finally not
hate her
for how much she put me through...
perhaps that day would never come
or will it?