sighing again

sigh...
i can't help but to keep sighing
i'll be back in johor today
it's not that i dread being in college
it's just that i feel that my life has lost it's vigour, it's meaning and evrything
i seem to be not interested in anything
all i ever want to do is be alone and cry and just care less aboout the world
i don't know why i seem to go through this kind of phase over and over again
i thought i had found my meaning of life
but i guess i still have to go through depressing times to grow up and mature
i need more time than others to think and reflect on my life
i don't seem to know what is going on with my life or how i'm destroying it
everything falls apart when i thought it would be okay
sigh...
i miss the times where i could just drift away to my own world and forget about all the crap in my world
i'm growing up
i don't want people to treat me like a kid
i think way more than other people
i'm dying for the day where i can really take control of my life
the day where i can really be satisfied with myself and my life
the day where i can really look into the mirror and say that
'hey, you're hot'
but no, i can't
i'm still suffering fronm depression and low self esteem
i'm still waiting for the day where i can finally say
'hey, i've made it'
sigh...