will goodbye mean forever...

just parted ways with my baby yesterday
and today is his first day in kelantan
i'm so worried for him
he's a tough type A guy
headstrong stubborn
beaming with pride and ego
sometimes so much that it pisses me off
but anyway
i have seen his vulnerable side
and being his princess
i just can't help but to worry
it's nice to know that his first day at work is nice
the salary, people there and the house is pleasant
i have no idea when he's gonna come back
nor when will we meet again
in my heart
i fear that this goodbye means forever
throughout the few days i was with him
i kept crying
cried tears of happiness
tears of sadness
tears of anguish and anger
tears of uncertainty and confusion
i love him much
and i know he loves me as much and even more
i know he's doing all these to marry me
and take me as his beloved wifey
i know he appreciates our relationship
and will hold on tight to me
he will never let me go i know
but
am i able to keep myself from straying away
when there are suitors who are hard to for me to ignore?
am i able to keep myself
from my love for nightlife and getting high?
am i able to wait for him?
wait for someone who i am unsure of our future together
many times we argue over money
our dreams
our ambitions
our future
and just about everything
we are from different worlds
he is everything i want in a man
he is almost perfect
loving me and appreciating me and respecting me right
but we are so different
the way we see things
the way we act the way we speak the way we live
are we able to put our differences aside and be together.. forever??
i feel like i've found my prince
but the timing the everything is wrong
just the right guy...
for now
i just want to keep our relationship smooth
set aside all the ugly stuff
and hope
just hope everything will fall into place
i love him
very much