Monday, September 22, 2008

i love him but it finally ended

i cried
i thought i wouldnt cry for that bastard
i used to love him so much
we were nearly engaged and married
we broke up
nearly had a chance to be together again
but he blew it off and seriously pissed me off
now there is no turning back
me and him are history
i am officially single once again
i never thought
that i would hate him so much
i thought i loved him
i thought he was the right one
i thought we would be together forever
and that i would really give up everything
to be his wife
i guess i was wrong
we broke up
too much differences
it's been nice
having all the overwhelming support from friends
especially ah ma, suang and irene
and of course my dearest sis
and richard who had been with me through
all the shit these few days
thank you so much sweeties
for all the shit you guys had to go through
because of the rough breakup
and all the midnite calls and everything

he had been threatening
to send my pictures and tell my parents
about me and him and all the shit i have done in my life
i gave in to him for a couple of days
but i'm seriously tired
why should i go through all these??
why cant he grow up
and take rejection properly
without all the tears and anger
he SENT our picture to mum
just now
mum called
she was angry at first
i cried
mum was supportive
dad was protective of me
i'm just happy that they understand
that it isnt much easier for me
i used to love him
i didnt know it would end this way
i didnt know there would so much hatred between
dad even told me that it's okay
and that he will talk to that bastard
and tell him not to threaten me ever again
mum was supportive and encouraged me to talk about it
it's really sweet
all the while
i thought they wouldnt understand
but i guess i was wrong
cause they did...

i loved him so much
but i guess love doesnt conquer all
he's being so freaking obsessed with me
i need my space
i need him to be independant
i need him to love me at a distance
and know when to let me go
i guess he didnt understand that
we could have talked
and worked out something better
maybe we could have been together once again
but this time, it's forever
i dont think i can ever push this phase away
and forget all the shit he put me through
i dont think i can ever forget him
but i'm not sure if i remember him
for the good times or the bad times
it's over
there's nothing to cry about
it's a waste i know
the longest relationship i ever had
with the man who loved me so much
i dont think anyone can ever love me that much
we were already talking about marriage
i look at the gold ring he gave me
it's a waste
but i guess there really isnt any turning back
i look back at our pictures and memories
of how much we went through to come this far
it's such a waste that all the efforts
to make this work out
isn't gonna bring us together in the end
i think back of all we shared
it's such a waste of time
but being with him
made me grow
made me know what i really wanted of a relationship
it made me realise who i was
it made me realise who i wanna be
it made realise that i really DO love him
but i guess we just will never work out
of all we went through
i am sorry we had to end this way
goodbye my love

2 comments:

Irene said...

for you. view my blog.

雨银 said...

all d best..my dear..
take k..
n i'll owez b there 4 u...