am still alive though. lol.

i've sorta lost my enthusiasism to blog.
dont know where it went, but i guess a lot of things have been happening and i somehow always find other things more important than blogging and to update people who care bout me, and whom i care about. i wouldnt say that things have been really really hectic, but then again, quite a lot has been happening and i just dont have the mood to blog about every friggin thing that happens like i did before. ohyea, and my babygirl irene, thanks for the comment. i've been growing apart with people i used to care a lot and people whom i used to be really close with. but my heart is still with you guys. heart you all.
anyways, yeah.
masquerade party at the crowne palace mutiara hotel on sat nite. i had plans of dressing up mysteriously and hand-make my own mask. in the end, i bought a silver-black dress and silver pair of shoes to match on friday afternoon which was really really last minute rush. am not gonna upload pictures for now though. the food was horrible, the event was just so-so, and the air con was crazily cold ( i was freezing, trembling and shaking like mad ), but the upside was that the hotel was glamorous and the event ended early. lol. i seriously cannot tahan boring formal events which start late and end late. wtf. not many people really dressed up though. some people came in nice masks, most just came as themselves. oh, and there was this girl dressed as an angel =.='' she was wearing a see-through long white dress and she had a pair of 3feet wings stuck to her back and she had pink feathers in her hair and of course a pink feather mask. good thing she was slim, tall and quite pretty, if not i think nasty comments would have made her cry. lol.
this next part is just my own opinion and so yea, spare me the comments.
i dont wear my dresses twice. i might wear it a couple of years later when people have forgotten about the dress or wear a dress i once wore at a family dinner to a party with friends. but i definitely wont wear the same dress which i wore a week ago to an event the next week which would be attended by the same people who have already seen me wear the dress. come on, do you really think people would not notice? i mean, no offence, but it does take a lot a lot of courage, and also thick skin to do it. people would be whispering, "eh, didnt she wear the same dress last week?" argh. stop lying to yourself and saying that you dont care. you know you do. how can it not hurt any girl's ego? unless of course, she is really really thick skin. lol. no matter how expensive, how gorgeous, how unique the dress is, it should not be worn twice, especially not back to back. it might be okay to wear it again two years later, or maybe in front of people who have never seen you wear the dress. but to two consecutive events where people have already seen you wear that dress? hmm.. but then again, some people just have thicker skins and i have nothing against it. but please quit bragging about how expensive your dress is. i mean come on. it can cost thousands of ringgit, doesnt mean you should wear it to every friggin event. i'ld rather spend less on a single dress which i would only wear a single time, and wear a DIFFERENT dress to the next big event. but then again, it's just my opinion >.< anyways, went for a drink with some uni frens afterwards. headed to oblique which was near aloha, thai club, poppy and all. apparently there was an underwear show cum party going on. i felt quite cheated though for paying extra cover charge for the underwear show which did not exist. people clad in only their underwear dancing around does not count okay? a show is a show. anyway, the twist with this club and the whole underwear show was that, it was a show by men, for men. in short, a gay club.
so yeah. it was quite a sight. i was expecting to see a lot of ang moh, men with big beer belly, middle aged men with horny faces and those sissy lil boys. but i was caught for a pleasant suprise to see so many hot young men. you can never get to see that amount of hot men in any club. you either get lots of lala boys which the ugly hair, rich brats and some working class people, and maybe only a bit of hot men.
but seriously, oblique was crowded with hot men. hot men as in, buff bodies who were topless and really handsome faces. i am serious. i think the only girls around were me, shan and a lesbo couple. i had the time of my life dancing around all these hot men, feasting my eyes at the hot topless bodies and watching them dance on the stage. but it was short lived.
cause it hit me that they were just not interested in women. i was tempted to touch those six pack muscular bodies who were dancing on the stage. but then i held back. you wouldnt know who that guy belongs to. for all i know, i might get beaten up by his 'friend' later. despite that, it was quite nice to feast my eyes and break away from the usual clubs which were crowded by average joes. i really dont mind going there a couple more times.
people might classify two intimate muscular hot men as disgusting. but it somehow turns me on. lol. dont judge me yet. it works the same way as how men are turned on by the sight of hot girls kissing and getting intimate. why dont people find lesbos disgusting? i really dont understand why it is okay for two girls to be intimate, not not okay for two guys to be intimate with each other. i find lesbo acts quite sexy. i only find it disgusting when a girl is involved with a tomboy. hello, you're not really that into girls if you are falling for a girl who is dressed, and acts like a guy. find a real guy then. lol. nevertheless, gays turn me on. >.<
i cant wait to go home on thursday though. hope mum would spare me the nagging and screaming and crying and long talks. i miss having soups every day =( here i crave for soup every freggin day. everyday when he asks me what i feel like having for dinner, i say soup, again and again every day. and we have soup almost every other day. but one miserable bowl really aint enough. =( i miss having soup for lunch, dinner and supper. weee...
and i dont know why but i have a feeling that dad isnt happy with me. it's his birthday today, i totally forgot all about it. since losing my phone, i've been living in a blur. i dont know what plans i have for the day, or whose birthday it is. was at the curve watching 'love matters' when mum called and reminded me. sent daddy a message saying ''happy birthday daddy and i hope you have a happy happy birthday''. maybe i forgot to type ''i love you daddy'' but he just replied with a simple ''Tq''. was kinda disappointed that he didnt even call me tonight =( nevertheless, i hope he knows despite how distant i might be, i still love him and i hope he's happy every single day. this barely happens, in fact i think this is my first time feeling homesick and wanting to go home. to get away from all the stuff here. i am tired of outside food and having to think what i want to eat everyday. i just want to be home, have home-cooked food and of course, soups, sleep late watching tv the whole nite, and waking up late to have breakfast. and spend the noon sleeping through or being online and just do nothing. no nagging and screamings and arguments and all those crap though, thank you.
urgh. and i really think i need to study. i've been missing too much classes and i have completely no idea what is going on in school. exams are coming up and i would really need a lot of luck this time to not repeat another year in law school which would kill me. nitex for now.
and i promise i will try to update more often yah.