things i wish i could tell 'you'

it's so hard to live with everything you put me through,
it's even harder to walk away knowing that it doesnt really matter to you anyway
it's funny how you make me feel so special at times
and yet i still feel so invisible and unwanted to you
it's funny how you make me smile and laugh
and yet i feel so hollow and empty inside knowing that you are a faker

it's funny why people lie and cheat isnt it?
i dont deserve to feel this way, i dont want to be exposed to all these shit
but why do you do stupid things to me and still pretend it's nothing
when you know that it tears me apart.

it's hard to hide my emotions within and pretend it's okay when it's really not
it's even harder to let you know i feel this way
knowing that you wouldnt care anyway
it's hard to talk to you knowing that you are hiding so much from me
but it's funny that the more you try to hide
thinking that things i dont know will not hurt me,
and the harder you try to not inflict any pain on me
ironicly, the wounds are even much deeper

it's funny how vulnerable you can make me feel
despite my useless attempts to not be affected by the stupid things you do
it's funny how i used to laugh at people who frown, cry and get upset over little issues
but look who's laughing now?

i just simply dont understand why do people hurt people they love and care for
maybe i simply dont matter to you?

it's funny why people will never be satisfied with everything they have
i wish i didnt have to know and just continue living in our perfect world
but it kills me inside to know that there is a hole and a dark corner this perfect dream i live in
it's funny that i choose to go to the dark corner and see all these shit and grief over it
when i should have stayed in my comfort zone, oblivious to everything around me.

i think i need a goodnight's sleep and wake up in my perfect world again
because things i see in this dark corner upsets me

i dont know what i want, but i know for sure,
this really isnt what i want...
and i really dont like to be the defeated one, sobbing in the pool of my own tears.

but in the end, you will never know how i feel when you do stupid things to me
because you will never try to understand
and because i will never have the guts to let you know