fail

homemade green bean ice cream potong. looks so WRONG though =.=

i was actually attempting to make 'tong sui' or soup dessert just now in the evening and got carried away reading some stuffs on the net. and i learnt that you HAVE to stir the soup every now and then. cannot even leave it unattended to boil for even half and hour. fml. whole pot of soup went down the drain cause the burnt smell lingering was too much. thought maybe the failed soup would make better ice cream potong, but apparently. FAILED. the burnt smell lingered even when it was frozen. sigh.



anyway, i have been having nightmares which dont even make any sense these couple of days. the other day i dreamt i accidently killed some girl and became a refugee. yesterday i dreamt of being chased by cops and crap like that.

sigh. sleep also cannot sleep in peace. fuck my life.

must be post-accident trauma shit.

on thursday around 4plus, i wanted to fetch toy toy to the pet shop which was really nearby (ie two mins drive away only). so i did not bring my phone since it was charging. neither did i bring my wallet cause i only intended to drop him off and come back, all within five minutes.

apparently the shop was not open. fml. i was contemplating between going back home and fetch toy toy later at night to another pet shop i frequent in ss2 to avoid the jam on ldp, OR go straight to ss2 and hurry back to beat the 5pm jam.

i chose the latter. drive was smooth heading to ss2, after dropped toytoy off, the crawl started. i was restless cause i had this really really strong gut feeling that something bad was going to happen. and i was hoping hoping i would make it back in time before anything bad happens.

i did not. i crashed into a car in front who emergency braked. since i had absolutely NOTHING with me, not even any identification, the driver of the other car just had to trust me when i gave her my number and promised i will call when i got back. the engine did not start at first and i was crazy panicking. except that this time i wasnt as scared as i was the first time around. after a few minutes trying to compromise with the her, luckily the engine started. and i fled.

i felt super bad for leaving her there then. but what was i supposed to do? wait for police to come? this annoying tow truck operator did not allow me to leave but i just sped away. perhaps this explains my runaway nightmares lately.

anyway, i am not that irresponsible larrr. i went home, seeked help. met up with the girl again to settle stuff. troubled somebody else and had him take my blame ='(. i know. i am so useless when it comes to solving my own shit. fml.

but all in all, i'm fine and the car will be fine, hopefully in three weeks time.

i was SOOOOOO close to making it back home safely!! fuck my life. i was soooooo near. exactly like my previous accident whereby i was just another 3mins away from my destination only. sigh.

i tell you horr. my sixth sense reallly cun(accurate) one.

honestly, i dont really believe that our lives are actually planned and will happen accordingly even before we're born. the whole 'fate' concept whereby you dont have control over your life isnt easy to digest.

but when you have accurate sixth sense whenever bad things are about to happen, and you have lots of deja vu's of things happening in the future, like how i ALWAYS know when bad things are bound to happen and how i ALWAYS know a deja vu when it happens, you DO start to wonder whether its true that we do not have control over things in our life, to a certain extent.

this year had been awful. awfully terrible. it had been so rough, such a bumpy ride. sigh. when will it end?

okay la. enough with self-pity and emo-ness. i am lucky i got away with it. unhurt and no unnecessary complications. and still can bomb you people with camwhore pictures =)

hehe. blur low lighting = illusion.

why oh why does my hair never grow pass this retarded length? ='(

kay lah. goodnight loves. xoxo. viv.