Wednesday, September 15, 2010

ego. pride. dignity.

i was on the phone with L today and he was ranting about boss getting on his nerves with high expectations, of being shot with sarcasm and unreasonableness-ala-machine gun, and how everything he does never seemed right, blablablablabla.

anyway, to cut a long story short. a man's pride and ego was hurt. if his job meant licking boss's shoes, sucking up to him and losing your dignity, he felt that it isnt worth working for anymore.

i obviously did not rub salt to his wound by telling him off or by being nonchalant and unsymphathetic. i simply said some encouraging stuff and brushed the topic off. come to think about it, i realised that i had a lot to say about it.

well, everyone goes through phases. and i believe that everyone has had their fair share of unreasonableness from someone of higher authority whereby you dont really have a choice but to suck it up. at certain points of life, your ego, dignity and pride have been wounded.

i know a lot of strong-willed, determined and (over)confident people who would stand up for themselves and stuff like that. i do, to some point, admire their courage. but most people would suck it up. i suppose i categorize myself in the latter. of course, if some friend or random person hurt my ego by saying to doing unfavourable things, i would fight them till i die. (okay, that's a bit extreme) but i would stand up for myself, mark my point, make him eat his words and walk away.

but its completely different if you're in a less compromising position. like say, when your dean or headmaster scolds you out of frustration unreasonably and embarrassed you in front of your entire class.

(a) would you say something back to defend yourself knowing that there really isnt much to defend and make him extra annoyed with you for being so hard-headed for no reason and hurt his pride, which makes him even more determined to assert his authority and then give you hell through disciplinary action and eventually throwing you out of the university.,


(b) would you just keep quiet in your seat?

which one is easier? obviously the latter.
i would complain a lot outside, i would condemn him kaokao and all, but i wouldnt choose (a). for a couple of reasons. the most important one being, my future.

i wouldnt let my big ego and rashness get in the way and crush the more important things in life than my wounded pride.

i think its the same in working life. dont think there are many people in the world, who get the luxury of being in a comfort zone where nobody hurts their ego and pride and they get to lash back at people who try to bring them down. the people who get to do so, must have gone through a lot of shit to get in that position, or are plain lucky to be born in rich families or in powerful positions. even if you are in such position, as a boss or billionaire or president or whatever it is, there will always be people whom you have to give in to and suck up your crushed ego.

my point here is that, it's one thing to stand up for yourself, and another thing to be a fool.

i am not saying that whenever somebody treats you like crap, you should suck it up. i am just saying that occasional shit your boss gives you every now and then just because he's frustrated and not thinking right and would probably forget in an hour later, should be sucked up and forgotten. it's one thing to defend youself, another thing to defend your rice bowl.

a lot of people are stuck in jobs which they dont like, stuck in positions where their dignity and pride were compromised, but still remain stuck with a lil wounded ego. for the important reasons which makes the world go round. money/salary/benefits/advantages they would gain to suck it all up and compromise a bit of their ego.

so whenever you are put in a position fueled with resentment towards authoritative people and compromising a your dignity a lil, just take it lightly and remember that a lil bit of silence, goes a long way. few steps down the road, when the boss gives you a raise or promotion, remember to pat yourself on the back and buy yourself something to reward yoursekf for sucking it up the other time instead of lashing back and losing your job there and then.

as the cantonese saying goes, '' ngoi qing mm ho yi dong fan sik'' which simply means that love cannot bring rice to the table and doesnt make the world go round. same goes to your ego, pride and dignity.

money and power makes the world go round, your big ego brings you nowhere. whether you like it or not.

no hard feelings kayy? *smiles*


on a lighter note,

i'm so happy cause the tangles in my hair miraculously disappeared. *smiles*

had been having this stubborn annoying lil ball of tangles at the back of my hair for like a few months now and been doing everything i can to untangle it without resorting to cutting away my precious long hair which i had been keeping for the longest time ever. i dont know how it happened, but after i washed my hair just now with conditioner and all like i usually do, and left it to dry naturally without even combing it, somehow the tangles disappeared!!! =D

*all smiles, giggles, twirls around, runs fingers through long hair smoothly*

goodnight peeps.

love, viv.

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