Monday, October 18, 2010

nerd in the making

(sorry i cropped you off, ahma. only a quarter of you was in the picture anyway. heh.)

i actually sat down since 8pm till now (1am) and prepared(really!) for International Law tutorial tomorrow morning at 10am. read articles and case law summaries and painstakingly WROTE down six full a4 pages of answer *gasp* *pats self on back*

i know other people and coursemates alike spend even more hours EVERYDAY studying and prepare much much more for ALL the tutorials, i dont care. i still feel proud of myself. let me syok sendiri awhile can?

usually i just CheatOne, simply read (fragments) and highlight some materials, jot down bits of pieces in a small notebook of nonsense to pretend like i prepared wtf, then go to tutorials and simply nod to approve of fellow coursemate's answers as if i understand (when i really dont), and once in awhile ask a question or chip in a sentence of two out of spontaneous quick thinking, restating things they have already said and using bit of common sense to draw conclusions.

perfect art of cheating through tutorials wtf. i know i am really cheating myself most of the time, so please dont give me a lecture on it.

and despite preparing so much, i highly doubt if i would actually participate in the 'intellectual discussion' nor present my answer tomorrow anyway. i will just sit in my corner, perfect my art of CheatingThruTutorials. nevermind. at least if Prof asks me, i'll not make a fool out of myself =)

anyway, i feel really contended that i actually feel like a law student for awhile tonight. maybe so motivated thanks to the company of water cress soup i boiled tonight =)

damn i love water cress soups! taste so good! i can have them every friggin day really.

and i'm moving into my third week of 'diet' already. i know i'm far from being 'thin', i get fat very easily and love eating too much. i got disheartened a couple of times previously and broke down from giving in to temptation, my biggest temptation was actually MaggiMee wtf.

first week was tough because i dealt with so much hunger and temptation. i actually needed to munch on at least three apples and a yogurt everyday to curb my hunger, and yet still crave for food. i used to eat so much for no reason even when i was not hungry because i enjoy stuffing my face wtf. so now its getting back on me. but i'm not going back to old bulimic ways of stuffing myself to the brim with comfort eating then forcing myself to vomit and crap like that.

second week was better because i actually got used to the temptation and stopped my mind from playing games with my appetite. i got even more motivated from parents and friends alike who said that i will not be able to give up food, because i want to prove them wrong! and i will. not shockingly fast, but gradually.

i keep hope that in few months from now, or maybe by my 20th bday, i'll not be that fatso.

for the first time in my life. =)

wish me luck. and please dont invite me for buffet dinners, good food, suppers, desserts or things like that please. leave me alone with my cereals, veges and fruits. <3

xoxo, viv.

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